Vayishlach

Regular readers will already be familiar with my view of the traditional Esau-Jacob rivalry: Esau was both an upstanding gentleman and a total badass, whilst Jacob was a an odious crook. This week we read of the last time the twins would ever meet alive. The parashah begins thus:

Then Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to Esau his brother to the land of Seir, the field of Edom. He charged them, saying: "This shall you say, 'To my lord, to Esau, so said your servant Jacob: I have sojourned with Laban and have lingered until now. I have acquired oxen and donkeys, flocks, servants and maidservants and I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favour in your eyes.'"

The messengers returned to Jacob, saying, "We came to your brother, to Esau; moreover, he is heading toward you, and four hundred men are with him." - Gen 32:4-7

At this point, our antihero clearly realises that he is royally screwed. Jacob, realising that his uppance is about to come, commences Operation: Bribe Your Way Out Of A Tight Spot, and sets up several flocks of herd animals as gift offerings to placate the righteous anger of his brother. Interestingly, he staggers the flocks so that the gift will appear larger than it really is. First sales trick in the Bible?

But before Jacob's gift trains can reach Esau, Esau reaches him.

Jacob raised his eyes and saw - behold, Esau was coming, and with him were four hundred men - so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two handmaids. He put the handmaids and their children first, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. - Gen 33:1-2

Nota bene: Jacob protected his beloved wife and kids by hiding them behind his less valuable wife and kids. Just saying.

Then he himself went on ahead of them and bowed earthward seven times until he reached his brother. - Gen 33:3

Moment of truth. Jacob grovels a little, but it's surely too little, too late. This is where you expect Jacob to get his ass absolutely handed to him. But wait!

Esau ran toward him, embraced him, fell upon his neck, and kissed him; then they wept. - Gen 33:4

Take a second to truly feel what has just happened here. You have just witnessed the greatest act of forgiveness in the entire Torah. You have to understand what was at stake. When Jacob stole Esau's blessing, he didn't just screw Esau. He screwed all of Esau's descendants, in perpetuity, forever. Forever-ever? Forever-ever!

Esau was well within his rights to slay Jacob. But he didn't, because Esau was like Mahatma Ghandi². He didn't even take the damned bribe. He just said, "It's cool. We're cool." And that was that.

The midrashic commentators, by and large, continue to insist that Esau is the villain of the story. Some go so far as to claim that by "kissed him", the Bible clearly meant "tried to bite his throat out". Humans are very good at twisting new information to fit our respective preconceived world-views. None of us are immune to this tendency. But simply by recognising its very presence, we can begin to combat its specious and insidious consequences.

Try to ask yourself, early and often: "What if I'm wrong?" And always, always remember that the answer to that question is never quite as terrible as it seems.